From Steve, 26…
I met with Catherine to get help for the anxiety I was having about my relationship with my girlfriend, Ann.
To give you a little history, I seemed to have a pattern of choosing girlfriends who would eventually end up cheating on me. Needless to say it was very painful.
Thankfully, Ann had not cheated on me; instead she was very devoted, faithful and trustworthy. However, I was extremely nervous about whether or not I was making a good decision in dating her. I felt very confused and unsettled.
During my session with Catherine, she asked me to close my eyes and allow myself to continue to feel the anxious feelings I had regarding Ann. We asked God to bring to my memory a time where I had felt the same anxious way before. I immediately remembered when I was 16 years old and how my first girlfriend cheated on me. It was very painful. We asked God to reveal to me what I believed about myself when that happened. I believed that I wasn’t good enough. We asked God a number of questions, but I was having trouble getting any answers. So Catherine had me ask God if there was a time before this when I had felt like I wasn’t good enough. Immediately, I remembered being seven years old. My parents had been divorced for years, and I would visit my father in the summers for a few weeks. He lived 3000 miles away, so I rarely spent time with him. In this particular visit that was coming to mind, my father had a girlfriend who he was spending a lot of time with. I felt very left out. I was so desperate to get his attention that I did something pretty ridiculous. Instead of getting him to love me and spend time with me, he laughed at me and embarrassed me. I was crushed.
Catherine and I asked God to reveal what I came to believe about myself because of that event. I believed that I wasn’t good enough, and it was my fault that my father didn’t pay attention to me. We then asked God if this was how He felt about me. At that moment I was overcome with a sense of God’s love for me like never before. He communicated to me that I was more than good enough to him and that he always wanted to spend time with me. I was able to forgive myself for acting foolishly, and I was able to forgive my father for not providing me the love and attention I needed. An amazing feeling of peace and comfort came over me that replaced all the anxiety and shame I had previously felt. I knew I was lovable.
I know it is because of this new belief about myself that I am able to receive love from others instead of causing history to repeat itself by choosing people who aren’t capable of loving me or not allowing loving people to get too close. I feel so good!
This story is true and was posted with permission. The names were changed to ensure privacy.
If Steve’s story brought something to mind in your life that you would like help with, please email firstname.lastname@example.org to schedule your own appointment for emotional renovation.