Darla met with me today. She was feeling extremely annoyed over the incessant barking of her mother’s little dog. The dog and her mother had been living with her for years.
After prayer she remembered that she felt just as stressed 30 years ago when, as a 15-year-old mother, she was struggling to care for her infant daughter. Darla was still very dependent on her mother at that time especially to help her care for her baby.
In this particular memory, Darla’s mother was out running errands, so she was alone with her crying baby. She felt overwhelmed and helpless to soothe her colicky child. Nothing was working. Darla decided to change the baby’s diaper to see if that would help. Her daughter became even more hysterical, and Darla tried even harder to comfort her. After a while of rocking and jostling without results, she checked the diaper again only to discover that she had mistakenly pinned the diaper to the baby’s skin.
Darla was beside herself with guilt. She decided that she was not capable of caring for her child and that she was a bad mother. Darla also blamed her mother for refusing to buy disposable diapers.
As soon as her mother returned from shopping, Darla left the house and from then on stayed away as much as possible. She started drinking heavily which led to her boyfriend breaking up with her as well as many other problems.
During our prayer time, Darla was able to forgive herself and her mother. God revealed that Darla believed the lie that she didn’t deserve her daughter’s love. When she asked for the truth in exchange, God told her that He was giving her all of His love. Darla knew she was free.