From Rotten Apple to the Apple of His Eye

Sally was being tormented by bad memories for days but couldn’t think of any of them when we met to pray. I was confident God would bring to her mind whatever He wanted to heal.

Before we started to pray, we discussed the amazing video of Ian McCormack who had a life-after-death experience. Sally was especially impacted by the part of the story where Jesus was showering Ian with His love even though he had sinned so much. She didn’t think Jesus would do that for her. She was sure she wasn’t good enough.

We started praying, and Sally asked Jesus what He wanted to do for her. She didn’t sense anything. I suggested she ask Jesus to bring to her mind a time when she felt she wasn’t good enough for God’s love.

Immediately a memory of when she was three years old came up. A neighborhood boy had talked her into lifting her dress and proceeded to molest her. Sally didn’t really understand what happened, but she told her mother about it when she returned from playing outside. Her mother didn’t say anything, but her face looked very angry. Sally hung her head in shame. She was sure she must be very bad to make her mother so angry.

Sally invited Jesus to be with her in that painful moment with her mother. It was difficult for her to sense God. We continued to pray allowing Jesus to free Sally from the anger, self-hatred, unworthiness and shame she had been carrying around for so long. Sally forgave her mother and the boy, and she handed Jesus all the painful lies she had been believing about herself. She asked Jesus for His truth in exchange.

Sally heard Jesus say, “Your mother is not God. She is human, doing the best she can.” She asked Jesus how He felt about what happened and how He would have responded to her. Sally saw and felt Jesus pick her up and hold her in His arms. She could tell He felt hurt by what happened to her with the boy, and He explained to her why it wasn’t okay. She heard Jesus tell her, “You are the apple of my eye. You are loved with an everlasting love.”

Sally believed Him.

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3

“He found him in a desert land and in the wasteland, a howling wilderness; He encircled him, He instructed him, He kept him as the apple of His eye.” Deuteronomy 32:10

This story is true and was posted with permission. The names were changed to ensure privacy.

If this story brought something to mind in your life that you would like help with, please email emotionalrenovation@gmail.com to schedule your own appointment for emotional renovation.

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Beverly and the Business Meeting

Beverly called to tell me she had just left a frustrating business meeting. The treasurer was clearly resentful of Beverly’s questions regarding the blank spots in the annual financial report – going so far as to tell Beverly that nobody liked her and she didn’t belong. This event would hurt anyone’s feelings, but because rejection and injustice was the on-going theme of Beverly’s life, it was especially painful. She was very aware of how often others were taking advantage of her. She tried to stand up for herself, but it only seemed to make things worse.

As we began to pray together, Beverly asked Jesus, “When was the first time I felt this way?” Immediately a memory of being 12 years old came to mind. Beverly was overwhelmed by the almost daily physical and emotional abuse from her mother – even her older sister would bully and berate her constantly. The beatings were brutal, and the angry, critical words were harsh. Beverly remembered kneeling in prayer hoping to find help from God. The abuse continued. God must feel about her the way her mother did she concluded.

We invited Jesus to come and be with 12-year-old Beverly. It was faint, but she could see Jesus sitting with His arm around her shoulder. It felt very peaceful.

We asked Jesus if there was any lie Beverly was believing. “I’m not wanted. There is no place for me. I’m bad,” was the answer.

We continued to pray allowing Jesus to free Beverly from the pain of the abuse. A life-time of rejection, unworthiness and hopelessness was being released. Beverly renounced the lies that had tormented her. “Jesus, what is the truth?”

“I’m loveable and I belong,” was Beverly’s joyful answer as she felt Jesus sweep her across the dance floor. She knew she belonged to Him.

And you also are among those who are called of Jesus Christ to belong to Him.” Romans 1:6  

Darla and the Barking Dog

Darla met with me today. She was feeling extremely annoyed over the incessant barking of her mother’s little dog. The dog and her mother had been living with her for years.

After prayer she remembered that she felt just as stressed 30 years ago when, as a 15-year-old mother, she was struggling to care for her infant daughter. Darla was still very dependent on her mother at that time especially to help her care for her baby.

In this particular memory, Darla’s mother was out running errands, so she was alone with her crying baby. She felt overwhelmed and helpless to soothe her colicky child. Nothing was working. Darla decided to change the baby’s diaper to see if that would help. Her daughter became even more hysterical, and Darla tried even harder to comfort her. After a while of rocking and jostling without results, she checked the diaper again only to discover that she had mistakenly pinned the diaper to the baby’s skin.

Darla was beside herself with guilt. She decided that she was not capable of caring for her child and that she was a bad mother. Darla also blamed her mother for refusing to buy disposable diapers.

As soon as her mother returned from shopping, Darla left the house and from then on stayed away as much as possible. She started drinking heavily which led to her boyfriend breaking up with her as well as many other problems.

During our prayer time, Darla was able to forgive herself and her mother. God revealed that Darla believed the lie that she didn’t deserve her daughter’s love. When she asked for the truth in exchange, God told her that He was giving her all of His love. Darla knew she was free.